Oh boy! Are you ready for this? First big holiday get together since Trump has had some major time in office and now you’re getting together with Mom, Dad, Aunt Sally, Crazy Uncle Lou, your super radical liberal brother-in-law Roger who voted four times for Hillary, Grandpa Fred who only wears clothing with the American flag on it, cousin Bonnie who will wear her “Still Feeling the Bern” sweatshirt.
Thanksgiving 2017 is set to be the most political Thanksgiving dinner in recent memory, and it just might make many families rethink whether or not the Chanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza holiday will even happen! Trump is a hot button on all sides, there’s no way around it. People love him. People hate him. The one thing for sure is everyone has an opinion!
Getting together with family you haven’t seen since last Thanksgiving or holiday season is hard enough each year without adding additional gas to the fire! So, I’m here to help guide you with some other topics to talk about during your Thanksgiving holiday dinner. The key to great holiday conversations is to make sure you’re talking about stuff that isn’t controversial.
Here are some great holiday day conversation topics to keep you and your family and friends off the Trump topic:
1. Talk about your kid’s accomplishments! Nothing family loves more than Uncle Tom talking about how great a football season Tommy Jr. had! Especially when Tom’s sister, Peggy’s kid is fat, in the band, and has asthma. Just wait until you get an hour of how Tommy Jr. will also lead his basketball team in scoring and rebounding. Once Peggy brings up academic accomplishments and third-place showing at the state band competition, the entire family will be so grateful for all of these high young achievers in the family. Just don’t bring up Uncle Tom’s daughter who got knocked up last year.
2. Talk about the Hollywood Sexual Harassment cases! Nothing like talking about creepy sexual harassment stories of famous people when Uncle Charlie is sitting at the table and still can’t go within 500 yards of an elementary school. I like to play the game “Who’s Next” where everyone at the table has to say who do they think will be the next aging creepy Hollywood star who will be outed (oh, sorry, Kevin).
3. How the Turkey was cooked this year! After Tommy, Sr. got second-degree burns from the Turkey fryer two years ago, the family has been experimenting. Last year was the cheesecloth turkey, this year was the turkey bag. Grandma still thinks her old roaster does it best. But, hey, you’re going to get a solid fifteen minutes of turkey cooking conversation by just saying the way that wasn’t used this year, is the best way. Aunt Betty might start crying, but just put a little extra gravy on it and ask “what’s up with the mash potatoes?”
4. Directions! So, Dad which way to did you come down this year? Did you take Highway 10 or did you come the back roads? You know they opened up the new overpass on county road 17 this year. Took it last Friday and it cut five minutes off! Men talk for thirty minutes about directions, you just need to keep bringing up locations and how you go there. Nothing dudes like talking about more than how they can get somewhere faster than someone else!
5. Health issues. When families get together it’s like the worst episode ever of The Doctors! The best part is watching relatives one-up each other on who’s dying faster. It’s a real competition in many families. Uncle Paul got a case of the Gout! Oh, really, well Aunt Jane has Shingles! You don’t say, I had that in the spring before my Cancer flared up. I’m not sure what it is about families and health issues, but everyone loves being the most unhealthy at holiday time!
I have to be honest. I won’t be using any of these topics. I like to look at who’s attending and then make a determination at who is most likely to lose their minds and on which side of the Trump debate. Then, right after grace is said, I’ll throw that grenade in the middle of the table and sit back and enjoy the show!
Nothing says Thanksgiving like Uncle Mark blowing a gasket at why the hell that wall isn’t built yet!
Have a great Thanksgiving, my friends!